Dead fish

It's not that you don't want to be free. It's not that you like to comply, like to follow conventions, like to walk the path already set for you. It's not that you don't wish to get out of the trap, leave the crowd, go your own way, reject the shoulds and the musts, do what you like with conviction and enthusiasm in spite of others' opinions. 

But you follow the crowd anyway, you do the same things anyway, you achieve certain things at certain age anyway, because, whilst deadly bored with the tedious security conformity gives you, you're too scared to walk out there and be who you are and do what you like, since you don't know what you really desire and more importantly, don't have the confidence, courage and self-belief to say no to things that guarantee security with some boredom and ordinariness and say yes to things that are either successful, remarkable and memorable or purely disastrous. 

How many times in life does it become a barrier, self-doubt?