tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post8043237054115837391..comments2024-03-28T15:01:12.582+00:00Comments on The little white attic : On sex and different kinds of relationships Hai Di Nguyenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02230670162621139739noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-44605234995474700072017-03-31T00:22:06.656+01:002017-03-31T00:22:06.656+01:00I personally think both of those terms are very co...I personally think both of those terms are very cold. <br />But sometimes it's precisely because of that that they are perfect. Hai Di Nguyenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230670162621139739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-47494809179324840172017-03-31T00:20:36.103+01:002017-03-31T00:20:36.103+01:00To be honest, the question about "the sex lif...To be honest, the question about "the sex life in general today" doesn't make much sense to me, at least I don't know what you mean to say. But if you're thinking of something like people in past eras didn't like sex very much, didn't violate the norms such as having premarital sex, didn't have purely sexual relationships, etc. then that's not what I'm saying. <br />But our age/ society being more liberated than some others in sexual matters, I don't see how you think it's not a fact. Hai Di Nguyenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230670162621139739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-43776348922470489872017-03-24T04:51:08.497+00:002017-03-24T04:51:08.497+00:00I honestly have no idea what you're on about. ...<i>I honestly have no idea what you're on about. </i><br /><br />Yes, i suspected as much. But no harm done, right?<br /><br />...On second thoughts, tell me do you or do you not believe that our age/society is more liberated than some others when it comes to sexual matters? And, was that or was that not part of your post even a little bit? Also, does this (more) freedom not constitute for you the essence of our sexual experience today? Like if somebody were to ask you, "What do you think of the sex life in general today?" would you not say, "Oh, it's more free"?nicraphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18405719003477902855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-9634577197648113942017-03-23T17:22:08.521+00:002017-03-23T17:22:08.521+00:00I honestly have no idea what you're on about. ...I honestly have no idea what you're on about. <br />If you think that I think before these terms were created, there was no such thing similar to friends with benefits or booty calls, as you seem to be attacking the repressive hypothesis that is not in my post, you're mistaken. I'm talking about the concepts, which I'm sure not everyone on my blog is familiar with. Also, people today look upon those relationships differently from before. I have never stated that such behaviour didn't exist in the past, which you for whatever reasons believe I have- all I've been implying is that such relationships are less of a taboo and more in the open. Hai Di Nguyenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230670162621139739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-78034740835074804572017-03-23T15:13:22.113+00:002017-03-23T15:13:22.113+00:00One minor correction: Insert the word "everyw...One minor correction: Insert the word "everywhere" in the sentence above, "Or has it changed completely and the figures replaced (everywhere) by such figures as 'fuck buddies', "booty callers..." For, indeed, there is nothing new about these figures, or at least about the type of ‘free' behaviour they represent... Such behaviour has always been there, in one form or another... The whole 'repressive hypothesis', which says that sexuality and sexual activity in general were repressed in the centuries immediately preceding ours, is problematic to say the least: For one, it creates a false dichotomy not supported by historical facts; and, secondly, by saying that human sexuality was repressed, it posits it as something given, a fact of nature or something…<br /><br />Beginning in 18-19th centuries there is a gradual shift in the way people think about sexual activity, look at it, discuss it, a new experience born. This experience, which is still by and large our own experience today, is based on human sexuality. It is how <i>we</i> problematized sexual activity, <i>our</i> experience. Different ages experienced it differently. So, to say that human sexuality (and sexual activity in general) was repressed earlier is hardly accurate. Nor does it make us any less ‘repressed’… we “other Victorians.” :)nicraphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18405719003477902855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-8002452594472352732017-03-20T13:49:10.519+00:002017-03-20T13:49:10.519+00:00Interesting thoughts and I could spend weeks discu...Interesting thoughts and I could spend weeks discussing them all. As a child of the 60s, when all these boundaries were being questioned and huge chages were taking place, not to mention a guy who has had two very different open relationships, but has now been bi-celibate for a decade, there's a lot I could add, but I don't know if I have the time.<br />I have been using 'fuck buddy' as a synonym for the more eupheistic 'friend with benefits', ie a friend with who one occasionally has sex if you both feel like it (as opposed to 'spouse', someone with whom you rarely have sex), but I did come across a lass who seeemed to think the term implied a sort of obligation to fuck reasonably frequently. Maybe I should adopt the distinction you suggest.Dai Lowehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03138012581489449388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-46000439489658581682017-03-20T13:31:26.189+00:002017-03-20T13:31:26.189+00:00What are they teaching in schools nowadays? HEh.
...What are they teaching in schools nowadays? HEh.<br /><br />On a serious note ... What is the first question that comes to your mind when you think of somebody as a sexual subject (somebody who engages in sexual activity)? Is it, whether he is somebody's fuck buddy? or does he give booty calls? or is he open to 'open relationship'? Or is it first and foremost about his sexuality, whether he is gay, or straight or so on? In other words, is the sexual landscape even today not the same as in our times and populated by such figures as ‘homosexuals’, ‘heterosexuals’, etc.? Or has it changed completely and the figures replaced by 'fuck buddies' and 'booty callers' and 'friends with benefits'? On deeper analysis, I think you will find that the answer is no, that nothing much has changed, and the questions that we ask ourselves, the anxieties that we have, the fears that keep us awake in nights, the dreams that haunt our sleeps when it comes to sex and sexual matters, both on an individual level and the level of the society as a whole, are still the same and couched in similar terms (of our sexuality); that the experience of sex for us is still the experience of our sexuality … <br /><br />Different ages/societies problematized sexual activity differently. Ours did it in terms of sexuality. How did some others? This is how you should approach this topic and not in terms of how some societies are less liberated than others (the whole “repressive hypothesis” is problematic anyway). Somethings to think about. <br /><br />P.s. Sorry for the mess above. You will clean it, of course. :)nicraphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18405719003477902855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-16122557572509071242017-03-20T12:09:25.797+00:002017-03-20T12:09:25.797+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.nicraphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18405719003477902855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901980733463068698.post-38186493279504647122017-03-20T11:45:41.002+00:002017-03-20T11:45:41.002+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.nicraphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18405719003477902855noreply@blogger.com