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Friday, 10 August 2012

Disappearance

She talked about her disappearance [...] 
So I said "You, disappear? I'm the one who really disappears." 
Joyce Anne Nguyen is dead- no one hears about her any longer, she disappears, she vanishes, takes part in nothing, speaks out against nothing, supports nothing, and what she does people don't know (except those close to her, but of course, to them she's not JAN). Perhaps a while ago some people did wonder, did raise a question, did wait for her to come back, but it was a while ago, for sure she has been forgotten and completely erased from people's memory (ain't the mind, with its limited capacity, able to contain only the important and significant things?). And if, luckily or unluckily, some people still remember her, they mention her, briefly perhaps, as something of the past. She completely disappears from earth. 
Nguyễn Đắc Hải Di of Saigon, who lived there from 1993 to 2009, also disappears and can very well be put as dead- deleted from the minds of the majority of her former classmates, who, if free sometimes, might mention her and talk of her as something of the past, yet, I believe, don't know where she lives, how she is, what she looks like, what she studies, how she's doing, how she has changed, and perhaps, in many cases, don't even know whether or not she's alive. She no longer exists, whether in reality or in people's mind. Nguyễn Đắc Hải Di, too, has become the past. 
(This, strangely, gives me a feeling of serenity and satisfaction I can't explain). 
And here I am, from nowhere and belonging nowhere, having no past and no mystory- only the present and the future, with very few things suggesting the relation between me and the 2 persons mentioned above, here I am. 

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